Filled with Friendship: Tips to Strengthen Relationships between Buddy Pairs!

 

 

Image Description: Avelyn Garlish (right) and her buddy, Ashley (left), sit at a table both wearing University of Texas merchandise. They are smiling and hugging one another. 

  

Someone wise once said that any good relationship requires hard work and effort from both parties, and the friendship pairs in Best Buddies chapters are no stranger to that! To make friendship work, both individuals must be open, respectful, and honest with one another – but that is easier said than done.  

To strengthen these relationships, I have come up with some of my top tips for Peer Buddies and Buddies to facilitate interaction and make the most of their friendships! 

First and arguably most importantly, expectations and boundaries need to be set as soon as possible within a relationship. For new Buddy pairs, the excitement of a blossoming friendship can cause unintentional overstepping of boundaries for either party.  

To address this, it is imperative that expectations are set clearly and agreed on with both the Buddy and Peer Buddy. Best Buddies International has a wonderful resource, a “communication plan” (linked here), that aids in physically writing down boundaries and expectations.  

It is also important to note that boundaries and expectations are fluid and may change at any time! Both individuals always reserve the right to change their boundaries with clear communication and respect from the other individual. If there is conflict with boundaries/expectations, either or both parties should consult the advisor or another trusted guidance source to act as a mediator. 

Once boundaries and communication policies have been set and discussed, it is wise to come up with ideas for activities and events which you both enjoy and that fit your boundaries!  

Depending on your age, chapter type (middle school, high school, university, etc.), and comfortability venturing out, it is important to discuss when and where you would like to facilitate and carry out your relationship building. This will look different for every Buddy pair – some may only prefer to meet virtually or online while some may prefer to meet only in person! 

Getting to know your friend is ultimately the most important outcome of your hangout. One great resource from BBI to help in this is the “Get to Know You” sheet (linked here) where both individuals can write down information about their likes and preferences.  

As activities rely on boundaries, respect and communication are also necessary to ensure your time spent together is meaningful and safe for everyone. Once again, if comfortability or availability change, both parties have a responsibility to be understanding of the other person’s needs.  

After these expectations have been set and followed through on, start brainstorming ideas! Some of my personal favorites include a stroll in your local park, enjoying a snack or meal together at your school or designated meeting place, or a virtual movie night! 

Lastly, I advise you to be present and genuine in your friendship. While this may sound like a given, it can get easy to be distracted by all of the other events in your life. Whether it be family conflicts, academics, work, etc., there will always be an opportunity to get sidetracked from your friendship.  

Speaking once again to the importance of communication and honesty, being true to yourself and focusing on your friendship when spending designated time with your Peer Buddy or Buddy will make for the best outcome. When you are with your friends, you should do your personal best to spend quality time with them and embrace the beautiful nature of your meaningful relationship! 

From personal experience, I find hanging out with Ashley to be a wonderful opportunity to express my joy and recenter myself on our friendship. While we are limited to seeing each other, when we hangout, it is time well spent! By focusing on the present moment and tuning into our friendship, we both are able to grow our connection. 

All in all, there is no “formula” for a friendship. No one is ever going to be a perfect friend, let alone a perfect person! By showing up in your relationship and giving your best effort, however, I believe that you can build a strong connection that lasts through life’s many turns and twists.  

Best of luck out there to all the Buddy Pairs! Keep spreading inclusion one friendship at a time! 

 

In friendship, 

Avelyn Garlish

YLC Member, Texas